Week 20: Alison Rohland- A Block of Aged Cheddar and a Pug

Full Prompt: “A block of aged cheddar and a pug”

Story:

“And what is it that I can do for yous?”

“Well, sir, we ain’t been gettin no treats.”

“No treats?…”

“None. Not a one.”

“You been doin your business properly? When you’re told?”

“Always, sir! But still, we get no reward. It don’t exactly make us wanna, uh, listen any bettahs, you see what I’m sayin?”

“Mmm. Mm-hmm. This is indeed a problem. A problem we need to get fixed. Fixed as in no more threat.” All in the dimly-lit room nod along in understanding. “You leave this particular problem with me. Mack,” he gestured toward a shrouded form who’d remained motionless the whole time, “take these twos ‘round back and dig up some of my secret stash. We’ll take care uh yuz.”

“Thank you, sir, thank you.”

“Think nothin’ of it. Alright, who’s next?” 

The inquiring figure was sat at a large desk, backlit by drawn shades. Cigar smoke filled the small room comprised of leather chairs and dark wooden paneling. As the first of his clients for the day were escorted from the room two new were brought in. 

A snarl greeted them as they entered the room: “You are one sick puppy,” it grimaced.

“Let’s give them a chance to explain themselves,” the figure at the desk reassured his compatriot.

“Honestly, we didn’t…” one of the clients began.

“What he means to say,” interrupted the second of the two, “is that we’re sorry. We got distracted and we couldn’t help ourselves.” 

“So, if, say, for instance I got distracted right now. By, I dunno, a bird flying by the window, tweet, tweet, tweet, or a sudden knock at the door,” he slowly tapped on the desktop, “or someone trespassing on my property- by your logic I couldn't be held responsible for my actions while one of those things was taking place?”

“Well, sir, there was some circumstances around the whole thing…”

“I think I hear a bird.” He interrupted. “Or wait, maybe it was a bell…”

The first of the clients began to chuckle.

“Did I say something funny? The voice boomed from behind the desk. “You’re barkin’ up the wrong tree lookin for understanding from me on this. We all know what you did, but I wanted to hear you out, get your side of the thing. Well, I had enough of this excuses. Muzzle ‘em.” He barked at the three intimidating shadows all-of-the-sudden looming over two pleading their case.

“No! NO! The two howled as they were dragged from the room.” 

Smoke billowed from behind the desk. “I been putting this one off all day. Bring ‘em in.” 

The final client of the day was small in stature but long in the mouth.

“Look, I can’t believe I’m here again- you keep hounding me on this. I’ve told you, I’m working on it!” He confidently defends himself as he prances through the door.

There is a long pause as cigar smoke continues to pour from behind the desk. The client’s confidence begins to fail as time passes and no reaction is elicited from his judge. He nervously starts to pace before the smoke pauses and the silence is broken.

“Yeah, you’re here. Again. How many times you gotta be taught this lesson?” The client now sits, listening intently. “Nothing seems to work wit you, Sparky. How did I let things get so far? So unfortunate. But I have my reputation to consider now. Your situation, your lack of respect to the whole pack of us is… it's got me slobbering mad. I’m tempted to grab you by duh throat and wring you out myself!” He barked as he stood up so violently it sent his chair flying backwards into the wall. “Lucky for you,” he continued as he made his way over to his fallen chair, “my days of being bad are done…”

The one on trial visibly relaxed.

As his accuser calmly righted the chair he continued “…I got a whole litter to be bad for me now.” 

Terror washes the misplaced relaxation from the eyes of the accused…

“Marlon!” came an enthusiastic voice from the man sitting next to him on the couch. Marlon’s daydream was broken as he turned his small wrinkled face to meet the sound. “You wanna go for a walk?!” the man continued as he turned off the mobster movie he had been watching. He broke the last piece of cheese on his plate in half, giving one piece to his pet pug and taking the other for himself. “Good boy. Let’s go”