Week 33: Sasha Karyn Lardie & Leah Powers- We've Always Felt We Were Soul Sisters

Full Prompt: We’ve always felt we were soul sisters from the very beginning, because at the time of meeting as well, we were also both only children. And this possible family tie, might complete our soul connection in this lifetime.

Story: “Hey, I only have a second, I’m mixing concrete and I don’t want it to set.”

“You’re… what… of course, why wouldn’t you be? I just wanted to see if you had some time to talk later.”

Detecting a more serious tone than usual coming across the phone, the receiver altered their priorities. ”Hey, no, it’s just concrete- I’ve got time.”

“…It’s gonna take some time. Don’t waste your concrete for whatever it is you’re doing. Coffee tomorrow? That outdoor patio place, the one with the red awning?”

“10:30?”

“Thanks, I’ll see you then.

“See you then!”

It was a cloudless, blue-skied, mid- Tuesday morning. The cafe’s patio had a gorgeous water- facing view, but was located through the back, a detail most were unaware of. The friend who had requested the meet-up sat hunched forward, toward the water, on a forest green and rust orange chair. Their coffee sat untouched on the table. Suddenly a yellow rose was swiftly, but gently, thrust in their face. Startled, they recoiled as you would from a bug flying into your face. 

“Here you go!” The person they had been waiting on held out a yellow rose and sat down across from them, looking fresh and energetic. 

“You brought me a… rose?”

“Well, I was actually on my way over here and this woman was selling them, but it didn’t seem like she was selling a lot, so I bought half a dozen. I gave four away so far- one to the barista! Her name is Katrina. Wave to Katrina!” The pair turned to see the barista waving from inside the cafe.

“Yellow?”

“It’s actually my favorite color. Did you know that? Plus it's not like I’m trying to ask anyone out on a date so yeah! Yellow! I’m pretty sure a yellow rose also represents friendship… something like that. So, we get the last two!”

“That’s a really nice thing for you to do… for you to even think of, just handing them out like that.” 

“I know! But enough about me-- what’s up?”

“I need to talk to someone.”

“Yeah… that’s why we’re here…”

“No. I mean I need to talk… to someone I trust implicitly… in a way that… I don’t want it to color how you think of me…”

“What color would it make you? Is it yellow?”

“I’m serious. I don’t want it to leave an impression that you won’t be able to shake.”

“I’m sorry. Okay, so we’re talking tent situation??”

“Tent situation.” 

The term ‘tent situation’ referred to a backpacking trip the two friends had taken years prior. Perhaps it was because they hadn’t seen another soul all day, or that they were completely exhausted from the trek, or maybe there was no reason at all, but they had taken turns yelling their deepest secrets, close held apprehensions, and grandest desires through the walls of their tents, with only the heavens and the night sky to hear. The next day they had cautiously broached the subject of what had been said and both decided it would all ‘stay in the tents.’

The divulgee, now standing, went to extreme lengths to pantomime the actions of pitching a tent in hopes of bringing a smile to the divulger’s face- it wasn’t entirely unsuccessful but not nearly the reaction they’d hoped for. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“It’s… something is just off… wrong. There’s a piece that’s not there in me. It’s missing. It’s always been missing but it’s become so overwhelmingly difficult to ignore. I used to just push it down. Put it away. Compartmentalize it. But I’m losing that ability. Or I’m losing the desire to want to.”

“I know you struggle sometimes but you hide that well. Have you, I mean of course you’ve given consideration to what it might be. But I guess what I’m asking is if you’ve always just compartmentalized it or have you tried to get to the bottom of it?”

“I feel like every crazy notion I’ve had, the twists and turns I’ve put upon myself… Well, I thought they were attempts to figure out what it is. I’ve even given a lot of effort toward both striving to figure it out but also attempting to just be happy with what I’ve got, where I am. And that has worked but only in bursts, only for short periods of time. I just…”

“You think there’s something you’re not doing that you should be.”

“I think that’s what it must be. I mean I’m not trying to find this ‘thing’ in another person- I’ve got YOU as a best friend.”

“Yeah, you really won the lottery with that one.”

“… and modest too.”

“No, you’re right, nobody should seek fulfillment from someone else. Well… what can we do about this? How can we find this missing piece?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well look, whatever it is, I’m here. If that means giving you space to figure it out that’s what I’ll do. If that means we sit here and write down no less than 300 different ideas, then I’ll go sharpen a couple pencils.”

“I actually really like that idea.”

“Okay, see ya later.”

“No! The 300 ideas thing.”

“haha, I know, I know, okay I’ll go see if Katrina has some pencils.”

The two friends sat at that table for hours coming up with differing scenarios, obscure jobs, and wild ideas. They laughed, they cried, they reminisced, and they planned. They wrote down every single thing they could think of. Some of the ideas were great like number 57: get a dog, and some were absolutely absurd like number 122: set everything you own outside your apartment and make a documentary about the people who come to take it. (But they also agreed that one was pretty great.) Still others were grand, yet possible like number 281: compete in and win a British baking show. By the time they got to number 300 something great had happened.

The friend who had brought the flowers was the first to speak: “You are more than something blasé as just a friend. I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn't do for you- Pick any one of these things to work toward and I’m there. Staying stagnant when you feel this way, staying stagnant in life, that's what we should fear. We’re living on a big blue buzzing ball that’s floating around in outer space- there is SO much we CAN do. Maybe you set to doing everything on this list! Though I might avoid number, what was it…. Ah yes, 87: Become the next Eval Kneval…”

“Well obviously if I were to do that I wouldn’t go straight to jumping over helicopters.” 

“Maybe toy ones first.”

The two erupted in laughter.

“I feel better. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but this list is great.”

“Sometimes all we need to do is talk… but other times we need to do. And sometimes it's BOTH or NEITHER! You don’t know until you try… Yeah, you’ve done a lot of stuff that hasn’t worked out. Me too.”

“I know.”

“The funny thing about failure is that it's usually the result of deciding, daring to do something- and the greater the thing, the greater the failure can be. You can fall down crossing the street and you can fall down blowing your life savings on an idea you were absolutely CERTAIN was going to work. All we can really hope for is meeting some people along the way that can catch you or people that’ll put their hand out and help you up. For some of us lucky few, we meet a person who’ll purposely fall down right next to you and point out the cool little bug just crawling around- doin its thing; something you’d never have seen if you hadn’t fallen.”

“You rehearsed that.”

“Haha! Not exactly. I did think up a few things that might be going on with you while I was pouring that concrete all afternoon.”

“Oh Yeah! What are you making?!”

The two dear friends joyfully whiled away the rest of the day even including their new friend Katrina in plans for dinner.